Just over a month ago, I received a comment from a disgruntled reader. She chose to unsubscribe from this blog because she felt I was dwelling too much on politics and religion, and not enough on issues related to the scleroderma community. That’s fine. She was certainly entitled to her opinion.
Ironically, in the weeks since, as I’ve slogged along with finger ulcers et al, I’ve been writing about nothing but micro-level health challenges that are the daily wear and tear of this disease. My fingers will be a long time healing, still (saw a vascular surgeon/wound care specialist recently who confirmed [a] the ulcers will need months of patient tending, [b] debridement is neither required nor recommended at this point, thank goodness and [c] I’m doing everything right), and I’m tired of writing about them.
The way I see it, if all I focus on are the minutiae of how I feel every day about my health, then the scleroderma has won. The healing process is so slow with these ulcers that if I keep reporting about it, the time seems to drag even more. My big victory of the week is I can now type again, with three fingers—two on the left, one on the right—as long as I don’t overdo. That means I can use my laptop and even write lying down on the couch, as I am right now, to rest my back (which is also healing slowly).
But there is much more to life than all this. There are big, troubling issues affecting our country and our world, challenging all of us. There are happy events (I had a great visit with my sister Memorial Day weekend; our younger daughter just landed a wonderful job), sad events (the recent death of a mentor of mine), and everything in-between.
Ultimately, living with scleroderma is about living. I don’t want to be reduced to writing only about this disease, even as it plays an outsized role in my world. I am more than the sum of all my doctor’s appointments and health challenges, and so are you, Dear Reader. That’s what I intend to keep writing about, and I hope you’ll stick around.
P.S. Apologies if you received a duplicate email of last week’s post—the blog misfired.
Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com.
Image Credit: Dawid Zawila